Over the last few years, I’ve been seeing video recommendations with titles like, “Disappear for a year. Come back unrecognizable.”
From the very beginning, those titles didn’t sit well with me. At first, I thought it was a phase, a trend, a bug in the system that would quickly fade away. But it hasn’t. It’s still here. So I had to say something.
We’re told that the only way to change our lives for the better is to do something radical, like disappearing for a year.
But I say: screw that. And here’s why.
The advice to “disappear for a year” puts us in waiting mode.
We start waiting for some magical one day when we’ve saved enough money to quit our jobs, the kids are older, or the economy improves.
Spoiler alert:
It will never happen. The conditions will never be perfect.
The only way to change your life for the better is to do it within the life you already have—
with all the jobs, kids, and messy realities that come with it.
There is a huge benefit in starting now, when things are hard. If you can work on your goals during tough circumstances, doing so when life gets easier will feel effortless. For example, if you start working out in the winter, when it’s dark, cold, and unmotivating, then exercising in the summer will feel like a walk in a park.
Even if you’ve managed to “disappear for a year,” you’ve only delayed the learning.
Let’s say you disappear for a year, work on your goals, and come back unrecognizable. What happens when you return? The same challenges you left behind will still be waiting for you. Your loved ones, responsibilities, and life circumstances haven’t disappeared. Do you go back and become a hermit for the rest of your life?
Disappearing doesn’t solve the problem. It just postpones the learning process you’ll eventually have to face.
I have a favorite quote that I turn to whenever I encounter a limitation in my life:
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”
—Arthur Ashe
There are always enough resources and knowledge to take the first step. To start pulling the thread.
We should celebrate limitations, not run away from them.
Imagine you go to a store to buy shoes. You have no constraints—unlimited budget, unlimited time, unlimited options. Shelves upon shelves of every shoe imaginable in every colour stretch out before you. Would this abundance make your choice easier? Of course not. It would be overwhelming. You’d probably leave empty-handed, paralyzed by too many options.
Now, let’s impose a limit: you’re shopping for shoes that would look good with jeans. Suddenly, you can ignore all the fancy, formal options. The decision becomes slightly easier.
Add another limitation: the shoes need to be warm enough for late fall and early spring. Even better! The pool of choices shrinks, and clarity emerges.
Side note: It’s no surprise that the younger generation these days feels more lost and confused. Their parents and grandparents worked hard to remove many social and financial constraints, and now, with the internet, their pool of options has expanded even further. The biggest constraints—geography and access to information—have been removed, leaving them overwhelmed by an abundance of choices.
Constraints bring clarity.
Are constraints a bad thing? No, they’re often the key to taking the first step.
Without constraints, we’re stuck in indecision, overwhelmed by possibilities.
Instead of asking, “How can I achieve this goal?” we start asking:
“What can I do with one hour a day and this budget to achieve this goal?”
The endless pool of possibilities narrows to a manageable size, and we start making progress in the right direction.
Embrace your perfectly imperfect life:
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.
If you’re tired of the hype around overnight transformations and want a practical, realistic, and calm approach to pursuing your goals, I’d love to invite you to join the Focus Room.
It’s a space where we make resourcefulness cool again. Where people with full-time jobs, families, and other responsibilities come together to make consistent, meaningful progress—no disappearing acts required.
Inside, you’ll find a supportive community of like-minded individuals, tools to take small but powerful steps, and the inspiration to keep going, even when life isn’t perfect.
If this sounds like the right place for you, I’d love to see you inside.
