When I immigrated from Russia to Canada 15 years ago, I learned that heroes are less common here. And that’s a good thing.
A call for heroes is a sign of a broken system.
When things work properly, you don’t need heroes.
When a child is diagnosed with cancer, you shouldn’t have to beg strangers to be heroes and donate money to pay for treatment.
When a whole generation of hard-working people loses their retirement savings, the news channels should be questioning the system, not praising the heroes who are supporting these people out of their personal earnings.
The hero narrative
Growing up in Russia, we were brainwashed into believing that being a hero is a noble thing. Our day-to-day existence depended on someone being a hero, sacrificing themselves for the common good. God forbid anyone question what led to this dire situation in the first place. Why do we need heroes when the whole situation could have been avoided? You are starting to see why I moved away, aren’t you?
Whenever I hear a call for patriotic heroism, I want to respond with this:
But Russia is not alone in glorifying this narrative. Watch any Hollywood movie, and you’ll likely see a hero at its center.
What does being a hero have to do with our goals?
“I want to become consistent, so I don’t have to be as persistent,” said a member of the Focus Room during our onboarding call last week.
It was such a perfect way to put it. She explained that she had become good at getting up ten times after falling nine. That’s what we’re told to do. That’s the perfect hero’s journey.
But she wondered: What if there’s another way to live? A way that’s less dramatic. Less heroic. More sustainable.
What if we focus on preventing the fall instead of glorifying getting back up?
What if we stop needing to be heroes in our own lives?
What if we break the hustle-burnout-hustle cycle?
What if we proactively take a break and avoid the crash altogether?
The hero’s thinking
“I need to get back on my horse.”
“I’ve fallen off the wagon.”
“I’m out of steam.”
“I need to reignite my passion.”
“I need to find the next big thing.”
“I’m having a midlife crisis.”
All of this reflects a hustle-crash-hustle way of living.
The non-hero’s thinking
What if we replace it with:
“I take regular breaks on my schedule.”
“I allow myself to rest.”
“I have a realistic and manageable plan to achieve my goals.”
“My goals serve me, not the other way around.”
“Having ‘me time’ is crucial for being a good mom.”
“If I’m burned out or depressed, it’s a clear sign that the old way of working towards my goals isn’t effective—no matter what the experts say.”
Replacing the broken system
One day, instead of focusing on how to do more tasks in less time, I focused on:
- What system can I stick to for years to come?
- What should I do when my energy is low?
- How do I incorporate breaks and rest into this system?
- How do I keep it fresh and interesting?
- How do I negotiate with my inner rebellion?
- How do I show up consistently for my work?
- How should I change my view on goals and work so it feels less overwhelming?
In short, I focused on building a system where I don’t have to be a hero in my own life.
I can just be a regular person, calmly and consistently working toward the things that matter to me.
And it worked. Like a country or an organization where you don’t need heroes—it just works. Predictably. For decades. Like a Swiss clock. Until someone decides to screw it up and become the next hero.
If you want to “un-hero” your thinking about goal-setting and life in general, this is a good place to start.
